Lisa-san says:
Sailboat’s sleeping right now. My belly, although round, solid, and heavy, is only moving to the rhythm of my own breathing. I love feeling her squirm around inside me. With every movement she becomes more real, more tangible, and more endearing. We have conversations, she and I. Her vocabulary is a little limited at this time, but she does the best she can to hold her own.
She got her fist necklace from Paula in Lanai. It’s a delicate silver chain with a silver barrel hanging from the necklace. The barrel is painted pink with sparkling rhinestones lacing both openings of the charm. Supposedly the barrel is a Chinese symbol and the pink is to recognize and support breast cancer survivors and remember the victims. (A part of me thinks the shop keeper just through that reference to breast cancer into his explanation of the symbolism for our sakes when we were perusing the knickknacks in his store.) I’m storing Sailboat’s necklace around my own neck right now. Oddly enough, the little barrel makes a nice charm for a necklace. It also makes me feel like a very hard-up Saint Bernard.
Lanai was wonderful. I wasn’t looking forward to going because of the length of the flight and how uncomfortable I was sure to be. Plus Shannon wasn’t going. Paula convinced me to go a day early so we could have a little time to explore before having to sit in 8hr long training sessions for four days in a row. I’m really glad now that she did talk me into it because literally 30 seconds after my eyes found the ocean looming out behind our hotel, did my mind see a difference between some of the dark objects playing in the waves below. At first, I could see only people happily moving about in the salt water. Then I recognized that some of the “people” were rhythmically diving in and out of the water. A few more seconds of focusing, and I realized I was looking at wild dolphins! I was stunned and in awe! Not just one or two dolphins did I see but multiple PODS of dolphins. Never before have I experienced this. Luckily my brain was functioning enough to remember the camera hanging from my shoulder, and I shot a short video of the dolphins.
The dolphins were just the beginning of my delight at this experience. Yes, there was snorkeling twice, coral, pretty fish (no, no dolphins when I was in the water), and scenic views… but more than the fabulous service, fantastic food, and beautiful scenery was the experience of being pregnant and experiencing it all. I joked throughout this trip that once Sailboat is born I’m going to hide her and continue to stuff pillows or a basketball under my shirt just for all the attention. My sister asked me the over the phone the other night whether there were other pregnant women at the resort. “No,” I responded, “not that I’ve noticed.”
“So you’re finally getting that special attention you’ve wanted, huh?” she asked.
“I guess I am,” I said with a smile. Living in Okinawa, the land of the fertile, it is the minority of women that aren’t pregnant. At least that’s how it looks. During orientation to the military lifestyle on base they even made a point to say that there’s a rumor that something’s been added to the local water that causes all these pregnancies. In fact, for a little more perspective, in October, I received an email announcement stating that the 1000th baby of the year was born at the naval hospital… Think about that for a second… 1000 in ten months… two more months still left to go in the year… I digress, however. When I realized I was amongst the majority of women on the small island I would half joke that it’s tough to feel special during this pregnancy. Ahhhh well, I compromised, at least they know what they’re doing when it comes to birthin’ those babies.
Well I can honestly say that this last week has rectified any disappointment of the past regarding not feeling special. It’s like this gut of mine is actually a spotlight that causes everyone to take notice of me. Not just take notice but be very kind and thoughtful towards me… like I am someone special. On one hand, it’s a bit uncomfortable… all this attention. My natural state of thought is that I’m invisible and sorta float through the world without being noticed much at all. Don’t ask me where this came from, but it has been my internal belief since I can remember. (To this day, if someone from high school or middle school remembers me I’m completely floored. The second uncomfortable part is how unattractive I feel both in my physical appearance and in the way I move… lumber is more like it. (I don’t know who ever came up with the phrase “she’s in a delicate condition” but it had to be a man or a woman that never has experienced growing a person inside themselves. If there’s one time I don’t feel delicate it’s now.) I know this is all vanity but whether people think I’m a horrid sight to behold I can never honestly tell. Of course it’s customary to tell a prego woman how great she looks in the same vein as it is to tell newborn parents how absolutely adorable their new Mr. McGoo-looking infant is. But I’m finding that I’m believing these compliments more often than not. Maybe they see past the distorted shaped body and extra flesh to the magi of life creation. I don‘t know but I’ve decided to over my vanity and just accept the kindness and thoughtful words as just that.
Here's a few more videos in case you're interested
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